Twilight

[tygati]

Oh my god, this is painful. I can't decide if the acting is just that bad, or it's the script that's so awful. And I thought everyone was joking about the whole "everyone loves Bella" thing, but wow. x.x

Jacob, however, is adorable. I think he's like the only redeeming quality.

... okay, the "money, sex, money, cat" thing was funny.

Also, the pale-face makeup is irritating me. They constantly forget to put makeup on the ears, so you have a white face and red ears. -__-; And occasionally red neck.

*chokegaspwheeze* SPARKLES!!! *dies* And the tinkly sound effect that accompanies them!

Scenery's nice, though. Acting is still really painful. -.- Cinematography's pretty decent, all things considered.

Bella's whole "zomg love you foreva and eva" is kinda... yeah. x.x A bit quick.

Final verdict? Burn it. :P It doesn't even inspire me to do better vampires, cause, uh... yeah. Those? Were the most un-vampirelike vampires ever. -__-;

Jacob is still cute. Makes me think of Skylark. <3

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_calex_/]

*coughs* I wrote a review on Twilight here (http://users.livejournal.com/_calex_/53377.html) a few months ago. It's just so ridiculously bad, though. Though actually my reaction was more:

... WTF AHAHAHAHAH I LOVE EEET

The Twilight movie has probably made every fandom better because I swear every fandom started having Twilight!AUs and the crack, oh it is glorious. It's just one of those things, I think, that you just have to love to mock. Or something. But yeah, Jacob is adorable.

[theotherdibbler.livejournal.com]

I've not seen it, but it sounds as if you and I would get along well on movie night, I love unintentionally hilariously bad movies, I am in fact building a collection of them, which causes many people to look at me strangely and deplore my taste in movies. :D

[darks-nightsky.livejournal.com]

I totally agree, that line about the wtf cat?! was the most amusing and the landscape was pretty ... but that's about it.

I laughed at the sparkles and the white make up made me laugh some more X__x

[spurious-sanity.livejournal.com]

...I've actually seen the thing twice... XD;; The first time, I spent the whole thing not breathing, 'cause I was desperately trying to not laugh out loud at the awfulness of it all. I think I'd outlaughed it the second time; it wasn't as fun, actually almost boring. perhaps I was low on sugar.

actually, I first started laughing when she drove into town, 'cause there was a huge carved wood bear holding a salmon, and I'm a hopeless Junjou Romantica fangirl (despite all its flaws).

[tygati.livejournal.com]

*giggle* The wooden bear didn't phase me a bit because that, at least, is fairly typical of the NW states. Almost every city has a decent woodworker or chainsaw artist. ^___^

[spurious-sanity.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I figured it was pretty typical, I just kinda... forgot...? Didn't care? Immediately thought "OMG, USAGI'S DAD WAS (possibly SHOULD'VE BEEN) HERE!"?

...um, yeah... ^ ^;;

[tygati.livejournal.com]

I got to watch one of the chainsaw artists work once. It was awesome. *___* Like, chainsaw-wielding maniac attacks tree, creates work of art type awesome. ^____^

[spurious-sanity.livejournal.com]

like a happy Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or something? XD

I totally wanna watch something like that sometime.

[tygati.livejournal.com]

Er, well, I don't know what that is, but maybe? ^^; It was cool though.

[spurious-sanity.livejournal.com]

it's a splatter/horror movie (or several, http://www.imdb.com/find?s=all&q=texas+chainsaw+massacre&x=0&y=0 ). supposed to be kinda gross, I think. I don't like splatter, so haven't watched it.

Much envy. Watching people with cool skills do cool stuff is always... well, cool.

[chilayse.livejournal.com]

No no....I forced myself to read the first two books..they ruin jacob too. This was years ago before they were popular and I was very bored...

[tygati.livejournal.com]

Aww, poor Jacob. :(

[mechante-fille.livejournal.com]

Hm, now I'm almost tempted to watch it to see Jacob. ^___^

[tygati.livejournal.com]

He's cute, and adorable, and doesn't get enough screentime to turn into awful. ^^;

[wingsofawolf.livejournal.com]

^ ________ ^ It's always been my personal belief that no book should be burned, but I currently have two (plus consequential movies, next books in series, etc) on my "burn list". Twilight is at the top because, well, you saw. Sparkles. I blame Anne Rice for all these wimpy vamps, I really do. At least hers killed people, though. v _ v

[tygati.livejournal.com]

Anne Rice was okay for like the first, mm, three books? >.> Though I always have hated Louis... but then after that it was just torture and I gave up. x.x Should probably sell my copies.

[drowning-london.livejournal.com]

Heh, so the funny thing about this post is my mother told me just last night how she wants to see Twilight and how she thinks it'll be dandy. I was "OMG AWFUL AWFUL!" I tried to explain how cringingly bad and mary-sueish it was, and how the novel was even WORSE than the movie, and the only way I'll agree to see it is while drinking copious amounts of vodka... But she basically blew me off.

You could not have posted this at a better time. Thanks. :)

[tygati.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. It was truly awful. And the acting was so. very. stilted. x__x

[drowning-london.livejournal.com]

Yeahhhhh. And still my mothers enthusiasm for the movie has yet to wain... *cringe*

[http://users.livejournal.com/roulette_/]

I've heard terrible things about the books. And worse things about the movies. Like you, so bad, I'm not sure you could save either of them with rewrites. What I don't understand is why so many people love them. >.> Even adults. I don't get it.

And no, I'm not going to see or read any of them in hopes that they kick my long dormant muse into laughing her ass off and trying to fix their terrible ideas.

I wish I had a piece of fic to let you read to help wipe the horror from your mind. *Kisses you instead all big and sloppy while feeling you up in a friendly manner* There. That should help.

[tygati.livejournal.com]

Because the Mary Sue caters to the emo repressed wannabe-popular chick in all of them? *shrug* Or for whatever the reason is that people like the Eragon books? x_x Ugh.

^__^ *hugs lots*

[alice_montrose]

Yeah, I feel your pain... my best friend still things the books are the best she's read in a while, and she did drag me to see the film. Cue cringing and shuddering on my end. Sparkles should be banned on principle from any vampire novel! And the Mary Sue is just... *shudders some more*

[poison-key.livejournal.com]

It made me laugh to read your comment, because I did my own bashing as well, and we agree on Bella...

http://poison-key.livejournal.com/4711.html

[niravive.livejournal.com]

Okay, I gotta admit, the closest I've gotten to watching this atrocity is a bunch of lj reviews and a couple of clips on youtube. Oh god, my eyes. They burn.

[silrini.livejournal.com]

I don't think that there is any way to get me to watch that movie. The books were bad enough, thanks anyway.

[rustedinkwell.livejournal.com]

YESSSS! :D :D :D I'm so glad you saw this. It's so epically bad that everyone should see it just to feel better about life in general.

The Sparkling was the worst part. Or the best depending how you're looking at it. The acting was... yeah. I love how Edward seems like a creepy stalker serial killer at first when he's talking to her and she's NOT EVEN FAZED. <3

It has a few moments that are amusing, but otherwise no. It's horrible.

And sadly, Jacob turns into a dick in like.. the third book. <_<; I'm almost embarrassed to admit to knowing that. The sad thing is that the movie is still way better than the book.

[tygati.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, I totally forgot to mention Edward's creepy serial killer thing and... it totally seems like it's that behavior that turns Bella on. >.> That is one f*cked up chick...

... third book? @_@ I'm... baffled that you got that far.

[rustedinkwell.livejournal.com]

I kept hoping the series would get better. It didn't.

[tygati.livejournal.com]

I see. >.o My apologies.

[the-camster.livejournal.com]

if you are or are not a Twilight fan, movie or book... or both, you could go to...

http:// whitedog1. deviantart. com/ gallery (remove the spaces)

she has lots of funny comics making fun of Twilight, it really is great.

Don't worry, the movie was horrible, we all know.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

*giggle* The closest I've ever got to consuming any of Stephanie Meyer's work is reading "WTF" reviews from other LJers and cringing any time I have to go near them in the library. The snark is really amusing, but I haven't yet worked up the morbid curiosity to read them myself.

[evilgeniuskoji.livejournal.com]

It must be both.

THANK GOD, everyone said the movie was either great, or decent compared to the book. In my opinion, it was possibly WORSE because the acting was so shitty.

Come on. The actors felt so monotone to me. =.=

I would start...a rant, but I'm wrung out. -headdesks with your icon-

[scary-sushi.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHA TWILIGHT. THE MARY SUE, IT BURNS LIKE ACID. OR BETTER YET, THE SPARKLES.

I'm not touching the books with a ten-foot pole, and not seeing the movies if they were the last movies on Earth. I tend to avoid movies with teenage actors now, because... yeah. Just. No.

(Jacob looks cute, though. Argh.)

[bellavaruka.livejournal.com]

Amen. I ended up reading all four books in a week or so just to see what the hype was about. It's... like a twinkie (http://cleolinda.livejournal.com) full of nothing good for you but sometimes you crave one. I'm ALL ABOUT Team Jacob, if I had to pick. The boy playing him is so cute. But yeah, the climbing trees pan-shots? HA! And everything else... Unfortunately, I couldn't LOL at the theatre otherwise my step mom and sister would've killed me. ^_^;

[shattereternity.livejournal.com]

i didn't even bother to go see it after i saw the trailer on tv....the acting just looked sooo stilted. ....... you just reinforced my decision not to spend the money on tickets xDDD ....course my cousin loved it....O.o

[aetheraestus.livejournal.com]

I read all four books for the sake of my younger sister. MY EYES, THEY BLED FOR DAAAAAAAAAAYS.

I have no comment on the sparkles, because I'm too busy LOLing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You think Bella in the first movie is bad, you won't want to see her in the second. As my friend said after reading the books: "She needs to just turn her vagina in, she's an embarassment to the female gender."