Out of control drabble - Hard Lessons

[tygati]

Angst and depression warning? This is me sort of putting some ideas on paper and explaining some of why Tau Ceti is the way he is. He's about 15 in this fic. Pyotr is 25.


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Hard Lessons

"A SX-9100 plasma coil? Planning on building a ship or something?"

Tau Ceti blinked at the voice, slowly looking up from the heavy part in his lap to find a breathtakingly handsome young man smiling down at him. Pale skinned, with blond-streaked brown hair done up in one of the intricate styles that were so popular on Zero this month. Snug clothing with the intricate embroidery that he'd always found so pointless. Why decorate something so lavishly if it was just going to get torn, stained, and shredded?

"Yes."

The man's lips quirked up and he laughed briefly. "Man of many words, I see." His grass green eyes roamed over the part carefully, then he grinned. "Combat class?"

One of Tau Ceti's dark brows arched. "Yes." He considered, then offered, "I'm upgrading the nav system for faster data processing and computations."

The man blinked. "With a plasma coil?"

"I have to alter it first."

There was another blinding smile from the man. "That's rather impressive. How do you intend to get around the heating issues? There's no room for coolant packs in standard nav systems."

Surprised and a little bit pleased that the man at least knew that much, Tau Ceti indicated a smaller coil tucked within the larger one. "Heat shunts, to divert the excess energy to the weapons systems."

"Is that safe?" the man asked curiously. "If one system goes down, they'll both go down."

Tau Ceti shook his head. "I estimate that 57.631 percent of the onboard systems would have to fail before the plasma coils will become a problem."

The man's brows shot up. "You've tested it, then?"

"No. I have to build it first."

"You're going to build a whole ship just to test it? Isn't that expensive?"

Tau Ceti shrugged. "The IG will pay for it once it's complete."

"You only have to build one prototype? No test types?"

"No. I don't make mistakes."

"Huh." The man grinned and held out his hand. "I'm Vexis Trath."

Blinking slowly, first at the hand, then the man, Tau Ceti reached up. "Tau Ceti."


Vexis, as it turned out, was an engineering student from Baten Kaitos on Zero to visit family during a break. The family he was visiting had gotten somewhat tied up dealing with an Incident in the second quadrant - the same Incident that was occupying much of Pyotr's time - and Vexis had been wandering around looking for something to do when he'd spotted Tau Ceti working.

It was a rather different, if interesting, experience to have someone around that could mostly understand what he was doing. Vexis asked numerous questions that Tau Ceti often couldn't fathom the reasons behind (It worked because it worked, did it matter how he'd figured it out?) but proved himself useful in assisting on smaller modifications such that the work went by far more quickly than if he'd had to do it alone. He was also extremely useful in designing the blueprints that would inevitably be needed if anyone other than another Gremlin was to duplicate what he'd done.

Necessary before handing his latest creation off to whoever wanted it, but absolutely pointless from a Gremlin's point of view. Vexis was more than welcome to the task.

Nineteen days and twelve hours after Tau Ceti had first encountered the brilliant young human, Vexis extended the offer to come back to the Trath estate for supper. While his initial inclination was to refuse (Eating? Merely a pointless waste of time) he realized that since Pyotr and Lord Uncle Kavalerov had been working so hard on that Incident they hadn't had a proper meal. Meaning he couldn't honestly remember the last time he'd eaten. Pyotr always got upset when Tau didn't eat.

So he accepted. It wasn't Lady Aunt's cooking, but it was tolerable. The odd part came afterwards, when Vexis walked him back to his workshop. He leaned down and lightly pressed his lips to Tau's. It was... odd. Though not unpleasant.

"Why did you do that?" he asked.

Vexis smiled. "Because I wanted to."

Tau Ceti considered. He'd seen such displays before, though none ever quite the same. His brow furrowed. "What am I supposed to do now?"

Vexis's smile deepened. "Well, you could kiss me back," he suggested slowly.

"Oh." Gremlins possessed eidetic memories as a general rule. Anything they'd seen, they could reproduce. Therefore, selecting a memory that most closely fit the situation, Tau Ceti carefully attempted to 'kiss back.'

He wasn't expecting Vexis's lips to shift, or the warm, moist sensation that caressed his lips, coaxing them open as arms slid around his waist, pulling him closer. It was like nothing he'd ever experienced before in his life, seeking to overwhelm him and steal his breath away all at once.

"Oh..." he breathed when Vexis's mouth finally released his, all the thoughts and calculations that were constantly running through his brain sent scattered in all directions by the touch. "That is... do that again."

Chuckling in amusement, Vexis complied. It was just as wonderful as the first time, and Tau Ceti reveled in the fact that he didn't have to think when Vexis kissed him. Kisses chased away all the other thoughts.

"I like that," Tau Ceti said slowly, licking his kiss-swollen lips.

Vexis smiled. "It gets better, you know."

Tau's eyes flashed. "Show me."


The things Vexis taught him were things he'd never known about before, or had understood only distantly. Necessary to life, but no one had ever told him how pleasurable such things could be. For the first time in his life, he didn't spend every waking hour with some electronic gadget in his hands. Getting interrupted didn't make him snap and snarl. Rather, he looked forward to Vexis, having been given unrestricted access to his workshop, slipping in and distracting him thoroughly for a half hour or so.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been if he'd been able to tell Pyotr about it, but the man was still working overtime, trying to catch up on everything he'd missed while dealing with the crisis. That was fine. Tau could be patient. If he interrupted, Pyotr would be more likely to cut back on his already-limited sleep hours to make up the time rather than delay work. So, he'd wait until things settled.

Cheerfully suppressing the impulse to tap a direct line to Pyotr's terminal to see what his friend was working on, Tau Ceti instead called up a list of newly commissioned ships and those in the design phases. It was always helpful to know what everyone else was working on, so he could make something better. He'd made it halfway down the list before stopping, surprised.

One entry had caught his eye - more specifically, the designer's name. V. Trath. Vexis? He tapped the file, circumventing the security restrictions with an ease that would make most men blanch, and called it up on his screen.

It was his ship. The one he'd been working on for two months straight. Upgraded nav systems, interlinked systems, tertiary failsafes... all of it. Bought and paid for by a substantial amount. His ship.

He felt sick. There were only two people with access to his system and his designs. Only one was V. Trath.

Tau Ceti didn't understand. If Vexis had asked, he would have given him the ship. He'd given so many things to Pyotr that he had to actively work to recall them all. There was no need to steal his designs.

But Vexis was an engineering student. A design like Tau's not only would bring in a substantial sum from its sale, but would virtually guarantee top marks in a school like Baten Kaitos.

The sick feeling worsened. He shoved away from his work table, stumbling out of his workshop in a daze and making his way to the Trath estate. Vexis was there, in the small room set aside for his studies, though it had seen more than one unintended use when Tau had been visiting.

"Vexis."

Vexis looked up, immediately smiling. "Tau. What brings you out here? I thought you'd still be working this early in the day."

"The Solar Wind," Tau Ceti said softly. "Why?"

The smile froze on Vexis's handsome face. There was something in his eyes, but reading people had never been Tau's strong point. People never made even half as much sense as machines.

After a long pause, Vexis shrugged. "You didn't need it. I did. With the points from the sale of that ship, I have everything I need to start my career. What were you going to do with it, Tau? Sell it for a fraction of what it was worth and go on to something new?"

"It wasn't yours to take," Tau Ceti said quietly. "What I do with my creations is for me to decide."

"We could work together, you know," Vexis coaxed, his voice falling into that easy, soothing cadence that Tau loved. "You could create your things, and I could market them. Humans always feel more comfortable dealing with other humans than strange-looking aliens."

"What?" Against his will, one green hand lifted up to a long, pointed ear. "What's wrong with how I look?"

Vexis rolled his eyes. "Well, you're not as strange as a Sardoran, but you're green, Tau. It's kind of weird. And there are a lot of people who won't deal with magics-capable. Think of how much I could help you."

Tau Ceti shook his head slowly. "I don't need help. I don't need points, or fame, or whatever it is you're after." He straightened, reaching out toward the terminal. "I don't know what else you've taken besides my ship, but I'm going to clear it all out of your systems. It's not yours."

"No!" Vexis shoved him back, hard, and Tau Ceti landed roughly on the floor. "You can't. I need it."

Getting to his feet, Tau felt for the electricity in the systems around him. Too far away. He had to be able to touch... "It isn't yours," he repeated. "I would have given it to you, if you asked, but you didn't." He managed to get a hand on the control pad, sliding effortlessly into the system and rushing through it at impossible speeds, looking for any evidence of his work. There was more than just evidence. Somehow, when Tau had been otherwise occupied, Vexis had managed to transfer nearly everything to his own systems. Everything Tau had ever done, or was working on - everything that had ever been noted down rather than left to float around in his head.

Now he knew why Vexis had been so helpful in drawing up plans and diagrams for everything.

Dimly he was aware of movement and he disengaged himself from the system just in time to see a flash as something sliced through the air, burying itself into his chest. Pain blossomed throughout his body and he stumbled back, staring at Vexis and the bloody knife he held in one hand. "What..."

"You can't take it," Vexis said, sounding desperate. "I won't let you take it. It's my future."

Vexis was between him and the terminal. There was no way to go but back, away. But Vexis was ready for that too. As soon as Tau started to move, he lunged, and Tau collided with a table in an effort to avoid that knife. He fell, the still-bleeding wound in his chest screaming in agony as he hit the floor. Dimly he was aware that, had he been human, he'd probably be dead. Vexis had been aiming for where a human heart would be.

He struggled to his knees, crying out as the knife sunk into his back. He reached up, grabbing one of Vexis's wrists and running electricity through his body. Not too much, not enough to kill, but enough to leave the man helpless on the floor.

With considerable pain he managed to get to his feet and stumble to the terminal, unable to concentrate enough for any delicate work and simply wiping the entire system. Overhead the lights flickered and went out as the house systems failed as well, the backups taking a few moments to kick in.

The walk back to the Palace of Eternity was nothing short of agony. He barely remembered forcing the lock on Pyotr's office to let him in, a brief glimpse of Pyotr's startled face, and then nothing at all.


When he woke, it was to the familiar layout of Pyotr's bedroom at the Kavalerov estate. A room he was rather well acquainted with, given that he saw it more often than its actual owner did. Pyotr was almost as good as a gremlin at putting work over sleep.

Speaking of Pyotr...

Tau shifted his head toward a faint sound, both surprised and not to see Pyotr sitting in a chair, a portable terminal on his lap, and the periodic flashes in his eyes that indicated an in-lens in use. That was odd. Why wasn't Pyotr in his office? Not that he couldn't do just as much work from home - Tau recognized the terminal Pyotr was using. He'd given it to his friend two turns ago as a birthday gift and it was more powerful than most of the full-sized terminals.

He started to sit up, to ask what Pyotr was doing here and not at the Palace of Eternity, only to cry out as a fiery pain jolted through his body. Pyotr looked up immediately, his face filled with worry, and set the terminal aside to stand and approach the bedside.

"Tau."

In moments Tau was being fed water, and pills of some sort, despite his feeble protests. Once he'd gotten them down he attempted to glare at his friend, knowing full well it came across as rather weak and pathetic. "What was that for?"

"To prevent infection," Pyotr replied calmly, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You don't want to get sick."

Tau shuddered and shook his head. "No." Illness was almost a racial fear amongst gremlins. Ever since the majority of their population had been wiped out nearly two hundred years ago. Some things took a long time to fade.

"How long...?" he asked finally, wishing everything didn't hurt so badly so that he could sit up.

"Two and a half days," Pyotr replied softly. "You lost a lot of blood."

Tau Ceti reached up slowly to finger the bandages over his chest, reminded again of their placement exactly where a human heart would be. He shuddered slightly. He could have died.

"Tau," Pyotr pressed, and Tau could hear the worry in his voice. That was odd. Pyotr never worried. Or at least, didn't let anyone know about it. "What happened?"

He started to shrug, only that hurt, so he grimaced instead. "I made a mistake."

"A mistake doesn't leave knife wounds," Pyotr replied softly.

Tau sighed and looked away, unable to meet his friend's eyes. Pyotr was too good at reading him. "It won't happen again. I learned my lesson," he said finally.

"No," Pyotr agreed, something in his voice making Tau look back up at him, "It won't happen again."

He didn't have to ask to know. Pyotr knew. It really wasn't fair, how he could do that so easily. Find out everything he wasn't supposed to know about. But at the same time it was comforting. He didn't have to explain, and deal with the humiliation that would come with such an explanation.

"... Vexis...?" he ventured cautiously.

"Will not be in a position to hurt you ever again," Pyotr replied coolly, his blue eyes cold. Distant. Tau decided he didn't want to know. It was better if he didn't know.

"I'm sorry..."

Pyotr blinked in surprise. "For what?"

"For..." Tau shook his head slowly, wincing at the pain as the motion pulled on his bandages. "Never mind."

"Tau-" Pyotr started, but Tau Ceti cut him off, placing his small green hand atop Pyotr's larger, pinkish-yellow one and studying the two.

"Pyotr... Do I look... weird... to you?"

Pyotr frowned. "You look like a normal gremlin," he said cautiously, his puzzlement evident only due to Tau Ceti's long association with the man.

"No, I mean..." Tau sighed in frustration. "Never mind. It's not important." If his appearance was so offensive to humans, he'd just have to make himself look like one. It wouldn't be that complicated a piece of equipment. The only difficulty would be in confining it to a small enough size to be readily portable.

Then he'd look just like everyone else. No one would have to look at him. He could blend in, be invisible. Only Pyotr would see him. But that was okay. Ten years they'd been friends, since Tau had been all of five. Pyotr was different from everyone else. Special. Pyotr could see who he really was.

For the rest of the world, he'd become someone else.

Comments

[animeartistjo.livejournal.com]

Waaaaaaah! *bawls into kerchief* You had to make me cry on a Saturday, did you! *sniffle* Poor, poor Tau!
Heheh. Well, at least I know that Pyotr took care of that... That parasitic, dirty excuse of a human!
So far out of your usual fluffy love, but still top notch and just wonderful. You set out to make your readers cry (still can't forgive you for that just yet) and you've succeeded in my case.
Now write some Sigma and Tau fluff to balance all this angst!

[skylark97.livejournal.com]

Oh, ouch, ouch. But in such an incredibly good way. Geez, poor Tau. Not only is it first love gone bad, but it's first love literally stabbing him in the back. *winces*

And his conclusion on the 'lesson' he learned at the end? Geez, double ow. ;___________;

Holy crap, you rock. I love that you can write Tau and have all these different sides to him. *hearts*

[tygati.livejournal.com]

^^; Tau is unquestionably one of my most complex characters. Even I don't always know what he's up to until it's written.

[(Anonymous)]

Vexis DESERVES PUNISHMENT!! Tau seems so innocent in this story, and Vexis HURT HIM!! This explains why Tau disguised his looks, if Tau hasn't acted bitter before hand I would HATE Vexis more.

[tygati.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he wasn't real social before this, but this would be the major turning point that made him as bitter as he became later, and that Sigma is slowly working at reversing. ^.~

[nikerymis.livejournal.com]

::snicker:: Now I kind of morbidly want to know what happened to Vexis. ^___^ But this explains why he dislikes humans, minus Pyotr, and the image inducer (transducer?) thing.

::huggles him:: Poor thing. Vexis is a right bastard, making Tau care for him so much and not giving a shit about the consequences. That he even tried to convince Tau that he was doing him a favor... grrrr. He better have suffered. ::grin:: Please?

::glomps:: But uh, aside from the tearing out my heart sadness I like how excellently it is done. ^_____^

[dameange.livejournal.com]

aw man, tau. if pyotr didn't kill vexis, sigma should, the rat bastard. {{{hugs tau}}}} thank God y'all gave him sigma. beautifully done, thank you.

[bleedtoblue.livejournal.com]

Can't begin to say how much I loved this!

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

Oh ow. Aw, sweetie... ;_______;

[unusualmusic.livejournal.com]

Humans can be absolute bastards, can't they? One hopes that Pytor did very nasty things to Vexis. Emphasis on the word "nasty". It's a wonder Tau trusted Sigma so easily when he finally met him.

[tygati.livejournal.com]

Tau had about fourteen years to recover between Vexis and Sigma. ^.~ And yes, Pyotr ensured that Vexis lived a very long time in a very, very miserable place.

[sporkess.livejournal.com]

I know you gave us a due angst warning, but - this is so unlike you! Not a fluffy bit in sight! Poor Tau. What a thing to happen with your first boyfriend. I trust that Pyotr had Vexis painfully, painfully punished. Bastard.

And it's so sad, that Tau would have given him the ship if he'd asked, and that Vexis was just too selfish to see that. -sniffles-

This was truly gorgeous angst. I applaud thee.

[marasmine.livejournal.com]

Oooh that was sooo good! A nice bit of bitter angst makes the fluff so much sweeter! You are going to reward Tau with some extra special fluffy fluff for sharing his humiliation with us aren't you? Wonderful explanation for a lot of Tau's behaviour - I didn't get too sad for him because I know that he has Sigma now - what a horrible end to his first love. First love rarely ends well but that was a little extreme. The bastard not only stole from him, insulted his appearance but tried to kill him too! I'm sure Pyotr dealt with him appropriately!

[mechante-fille.livejournal.com]

Oh!! *whimpers* Poor, poor Tau! Amazing job, hon. That does so very much explain how Tau came to be as he is. Interesting, though, that it also explains maybe how he came to like sex more than most gremlins... I'm glad he didn't write that off entirely. Or that Sigma was able to overcome the bad connotations if there were some.

Hm, afraid of illness... has Tau Ceti been ill? It almost sounds familiar, like maybe it has come up, or like maybe it should. You know, not critically, just a little baby cold with a whiny baby Tau and nursemaid!Sigma. I bet the rest of the crew would behave... interestingly, too. ^_^

[tygati.livejournal.com]

It was mentioned very briefly in Defending the Princess's Honor (http://tygati.livejournal.com/141421.html) that Tau got sick once and Pyotr took care of him, so that may be why it sounds familiar. ^^;

As for his fondness for sex, that's more to do with the fact that he's a genetic anomaly than anything. ^^;;

[mechante-fille.livejournal.com]

You know, you've mentioned that before... it seems like what ever mutations he has would be good ones to breed into the race. Supergood electronic skillz and fondness of sex. Particularly the sex... would make saving the race that much easier, yeah? ^_^

[tygati.livejournal.com]

*laugh* Probably, but I think the trade-off for Tau's skills is that he's sterile. Couldn't continue the line if he wanted to. ^^;

[charisstoma.livejournal.com]

Takes Vexis' knife and uses it on him. Good for Pyotr.
He HURT Tau. *is angry, is very very angry* And to make Tau uncomfortable in his gremlinness..grrrr. Now we know where Tau learned his many skills with Sigma loving but to have one's first love so betrayed. Pyotr did good.