As a bisexual and someone who has lived in a female/female relationship I'm gonna give my limited (yes, limited) insight into this.
My girlfriend and I were both femme's so we sorta broke the mold on that one, but we knew a few couples and there are many more femme/butch than 2 femmes.
Personally, not being a butch but listening to them, I feel it comes down to anger and breaking the norm. I think butch dykes dress the way they do to fly in the face of conventional wisdom on what "makes" a woman a woman. I can dress like a man, sound like a man, do a man's job AND have a wife to go home to.
Now, before a bunch of butch dykes come flying out of the woodwork to beat my femme ass, please take it all this with a grain of salt. Cause I'm not a butch dyke and I don't want to be one.
We also have to take into account relationship stereotypes. One person is the breadwinner. One person fixes the cars. One person is dominant and the other submissive. One person takes care of the home, raises the children.
Yes, in recent years these lines have blurred, but really they are still all stereotypes we carry. So in some ways its just a projection of what we already know and need. Its a way of "flagging" what you're looking for.
I'm a femme, I dress nice, I wear lipstick and heels. I'm looking for someone to take care of me and fix my broken sink cause I can't and don't want to.
I'm a butch, I wear men's clothing, wear men's styles. I'm looking for someone to take care of and fix their broken sink cause I can and look hot doing it.
As much as we all hate labels, in some ways we need them just as badly. It helps us to identify and sort out what we want and who we are from those that are outside of that. So by 'flagging' butch you let all the other dykes to stay out of your way and the femme's what your looking for. And vice versa.
And that is my perhaps off kilter and politically incorrect answer to today's Gay Question of the Day. Hope it doesn't get me mauled. :D
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My girlfriend and I were both femme's so we sorta broke the mold on that one, but we knew a few couples and there are many more femme/butch than 2 femmes.
Personally, not being a butch but listening to them, I feel it comes down to anger and breaking the norm. I think butch dykes dress the way they do to fly in the face of conventional wisdom on what "makes" a woman a woman. I can dress like a man, sound like a man, do a man's job AND have a wife to go home to.
Now, before a bunch of butch dykes come flying out of the woodwork to beat my femme ass, please take it all this with a grain of salt. Cause I'm not a butch dyke and I don't want to be one.
We also have to take into account relationship stereotypes. One person is the breadwinner. One person fixes the cars. One person is dominant and the other submissive. One person takes care of the home, raises the children.
Yes, in recent years these lines have blurred, but really they are still all stereotypes we carry. So in some ways its just a projection of what we already know and need. Its a way of "flagging" what you're looking for.
I'm a femme, I dress nice, I wear lipstick and heels. I'm looking for someone to take care of me and fix my broken sink cause I can't and don't want to.
I'm a butch, I wear men's clothing, wear men's styles. I'm looking for someone to take care of and fix their broken sink cause I can and look hot doing it.
As much as we all hate labels, in some ways we need them just as badly. It helps us to identify and sort out what we want and who we are from those that are outside of that. So by 'flagging' butch you let all the other dykes to stay out of your way and the femme's what your looking for. And vice versa.
And that is my perhaps off kilter and politically incorrect answer to today's Gay Question of the Day. Hope it doesn't get me mauled. :D